The Joy of Giving

This blog began as a forum for my infrequent sermons, to myself and to mankind (at large)...Today is the Saturday after Thanksgiving and the first snow of the season is falling. The house is still clean from the holiday; J is unpacking Christmas decorations from storage. I am refilling our morning coffee and watching the gentle flakes fall on our yard. My heart contains a void...I feel incomplete...We had the honor of feeding most of my mother's immediate family on Thursday. Our preparation for the meal was intense. We worked so hard to make an incredible meal, wanting all of our guests to eat well and feel good. But as J and I reflected on the days events we realized that my family didn't seem to be as comfortable in our home as I had hoped. Because J and I do not have children yet, I wanted to get that "joy of giving" feeling from serving my family a great meal. They came, ate, and went; but I didn't get the joy of giving feeling...This morning as I sit beside my loving partner while she reads, and our cuddly dog sleeps between us, I look at our modest but beautiful home. I am still waiting, still longing, still needing. All the love between J and I that we have to give to a child or to family just sits on the vine, uneaten....Will there be a child who needs us? Will there be a family who needs us? Will we ever get to feel the Joy of Giving?